Feeling Behind
At the start of January, I deliberately took time to be with family and gave myself some grace to start the year with a little less vigor than I would normally have liked to.
It was uncomfortable and I definitely had to keep reminding myself to just stay present and be in the moment.
Even though I was enjoying my time, it was hard not to think about what I was or wasn’t getting done - either with my business or otherwise.
I think that like many of us, I like to start the year off with a bit of a bang. I like the idea of setting the tone for the rest of the year and feeling a sense of accomplishment.
This year was both an experiment and a test of my ability to be patient and kind to myself.
Someone once told me I am a realistic optimist…I like to see the possibilities and think of the positive outcomes, but I also know there are limitations. The realities of life can get in the way, no matter how hard I try to keep up the momentum.
Needless to say, a couple weeks into the year, I was feeling like I had gotten a quarterly plan in place and started to create this wonderful schedule of activities to get back into the groove.
Then I got hit with COVID.
I got knocked down and my body said “NO”. Luckily, this was a mild case and I am beyond grateful to have my health and be on the mend.
Was I frustrated? YES. Did I feel like I was getting behind? YES.
But why? Behind on what?
The immediate thought that went through my head was “I have so much to do!”.
Was that true? Was that being self-compassionate? What would I have told other people in the same situation?
Then, I reminded myself that sometimes, things are out of our control. I also had to tell myself that if I didn’t get to all of the things I wanted to in January, it was going to be okay!
Whether professionally or personally, do you have expectations of yourself to do more than you can actually accomplish in a day or a month?
Maybe it is just our nature to want to keep going, going, going until we just can’t do all of it any more. Then we start to feel like we are getting behind. But is that sustainable?
When you are feeling behind, that’s a good time to pause and look at things from a different perspective.
It is okay to stop and see where you are and what you can realistically do. You can re-prioritize and determine what is most important to get done.
Your circumstances, time, and energy change every day!
Sometimes it is worth taking a look at the bigger picture. It may mean taking a step outside of where you are in the moment to look at things from a different angle.
Some of the questions I continuously ask myself are:
Who are you comparing yourself to and why?
Is there someone that is telling you that you are behind?
What standard are you holding yourself to and is it realistic?
Will getting it all done right now be beneficial?
This is all to say, in a fast-paced world where we tend to be constantly thinking about how much we can get done in a day or how much we haven’t yet accomplished, it seems we may not always escape that feeling of being behind.
I am not immune to these feelings and when you are passionate about what you are doing, you want to see what impact you are having on people - the results of what you are doing.
You want to really see what difference you are making based on your actions.
For me, it is a matter of asking myself if I am actually behind, or if it is that I can’t see the results of what I am doing quickly enough? Maybe I want to do a lot more so that I can reach more people in the limited amount of time that I know I have.
The reality is that many of the mission-driven helpers out there who want to do it ALL and help MORE people will always feel behind. There will always be more to do than there is time or energy for.
Instead of feeling frustrated with “being behind” and not feeling like you have accomplished what you need to, take 5 or 10 minutes to really reflect on what is truly important to you.
Ask yourself if the expectation to get more done is realistic. Then, you can re-prioritize and re-energize yourself to get what really needs to get done with the time and energy you actually have.
This will give you more peace of mind knowing that you ARE making an impact and you ARE doing enough.
I would love to hear your thoughts on what you do when that feeling of being behind creeps in. When you feel like you want to do it all and get frustrated when you know you just can’t do it all.
Please email me at dani@danichoicoaching.com
Thanks for reading this far! If you want to explore ways to manage your time and energy to motivate your mission (personally & professionally), I encourage you to sign up for my email list and keep an eye out for upcoming events and periodic tips.
I specialize in coaching mission-driven helpers who are overwhelmed, overcommitted, and often frustrated because they feel they aren’t doing enough for the people they serve. My clients expect themselves to keep doing more, and continuously put themselves last. I want my clients to be able to live a life where they are fulfilled, rewarded, and are able to take time to serve themselves WHILE they are serving others!
To schedule a time for a complimentary and confidential call to find out more about coaching, please click here.
